June 5, 2012 Revival

Dear God,

I feel so accomplished! You're looking at the winner of the 2012 Discus Award!
Once a year, you can apply for this scholarship and every year there is one winner.
The winner of 2012.. is me! Wow.
I can't even describe the joy I felt. It was like being told I was elected president. Or winning the lottery.
But it wasn't even that. It was so much more.
I worked for this scholarship! I put time and effort into personalizing it so the judges would see ME. Not what I thought they wanted to see, but me.
Sorry if it sounds like I'm gloating. I'm not trying to. Okay maybe I am a little bit. But I can't help but be so proud of myself!
Lately, I've felt so... numb. Like something in me snapped and I just didn't feel anything anymore. Even when I was being dumb and it should've hurt me, I felt nothing.
It's been that way for a while. I guess that's why I haven't written.
But hearing I won this award made me come back to life. It was like God reached down and said hey, you are worthy of something. I haven't forgotten about you. And that was the reminder I needed.
I worshiped God today and FELT something. It wasn't going through the motions. My heart soared with joy!
It was the best reminder of the world and honestly, I haven't stopped smiling since. :) :) :) :) :) <-- See?
In order to win this award, you have to create a profile on their website. You pick 3 out of 10 attributes like volunteering, faith, academics, recycling, etc. I chose the first 3 I listed. I wrote about what they mean to me and why I think I am successful in these areas. I uploaded a video of a video testimony I made for church and pictures of me out at various church events and included several references.
At first, I wasn't going to apply. But something told me I should..
And who would've thought that hearing this announcement would be the thing that brought me back to life.
God, you are so good. Thank you so much.
Today is a day where I finally started looking at the bright side. Look out world, I'm taking off my sunglasses that's blocked me from the view of clear skies. I'm looking at the world with eyes full of thankfulness.
I've been so cheesy with everyone. It's ridiculous. This joy is overflowing. I want to overflow into other peoples' lives with joy as well as love and acceptance.
I am so grateful to be alive.
Cheers to a joyful beginning. :)

Love you,

Amen